We had
been there before. It was
our first stop after we entered the long-familiar city. This time, we had stones with us that
we planned to leave in their appointed spots. We arrived at the place that we now visit like a
pilgrimage. We knew exactly
where to go, so much so that I was recently able to direct a friend from
long-distance to find that same spot and pay his respects. We parked on the tree-lined drive
and walked over to the markers that have sat side-by-side for nearly a
decade. Joseph Karol - Ruth
Karol - you will never know them, but you can see them in what Rhonda and I do
for the community in which we live. We were silent for a moment....and, as if they
could answer, we asked for their continued support. Then we put the stones down on each marker and stood
silent again. We returned to
our car and continued along our way, on a day when we later visited my now 105
year old aunt. We ended the
weekend attending a gathering of
my extended family, who, along with us, continue to keep alive the memories and
the stories of my parents.
Such moments are holy,
special, treasured, and cherished, almost as much as the time that we were able
to spend with my parents over the years. We really do like to revisit and rediscover how
we came to be who we are, and how our background and origins affect the ways in
which we deal with change and challenge in our lives.
Part of our origin
story is embedded in our genetic make-up.
That is why I was intrigued at the presentation at my rabbis' convention
this past March by Ann Wojcicki, co-founder of 23andme. This organization provides individuals
with their own genetic information.
Their website explains, "At 23andMe, we believe genetic research
can and should be used to give us a deeper understanding of the role genes play
in our individual lives."
23 is significant because it refers to the 23 pairs of chromosomes which
determine our personal characteristics. We can learn from our genes why we might be predisposed to
certain health conditions. Our
genes can help us discover as-yet-unknown facts about our family roots. So let
me tell you a little bit about myself based on the 23andMe analysis of my
genetic information. I am
93% Ashkenazi, 99.5% European.
My ancestors lived in the Near East and then in Europe. According to my genetic information, my
eyes are likely blue, my hair is slightly curlier than average hair, and I have
decreased odds of losing my hair.
There was health information included in the report that I received about
my risk for certain conditions and diseases. What I was most interested in was filling out my own
family story, finding relatives I didn't know I had. Through 23andMe,
I am now connected to at least 150 2nd to
4th cousins, but not one of them bears a name that I can connect to my family
history. One of my new cousins was
a fellow member of Hillel at University of Illinois in the 1970s. We just don't
know yet how we are related, and we may never know. So, even with all of this information, I would
have to say that my story is incomplete.
Fortunately, we are not
just the sum total of our genetic makeup. We are multifaceted human beings, and by being here
tonight, we identify with the Jewish community in some way, whether by ancestry
or by choice, whether by heritage or by marriage, whether by interest in
Judaism or by raising a child to live a Jewish life. We come together this night to celebrate our New Year.
We are united in this sanctuary and this community as we contemplate who we are
and consider who we will be in the year to come. We do this as an expression of our heritage, our
religion, our personal spirituality and faith, and our ongoing, ever-growing
life story.
And we have many stories to
tell! We heard during
Passover from some of our TBE Pioneers as they regaled us with tales of their
experiences at Temple Beth-El and in Las Cruces. At several "Sharing our Stories" sessions
held in recent months, community members spoke about the values they learned
from being raised in their families and home communities. Some of the
principles that were articulated at those meetings are the very building blocks
of community, including finding beauty in life; treating others with kindness;
treating people equally while accepting the individuality of each person;
honesty; working for social justice and improving the world; being humble;
feeling a sense of responsibilty for others; mutual respect; patience;
strength; living simply and with authenticity; and encouraging questioning,
which can lead to deeper understanding.
In this year’s Jewels of
Elul series, internationally acclaimed singer Achinoam Nini expressed values that are central to
Judaism as she wrote about what it means to be welcoming. She said, “For me, the word ‘welcoming’
is deeply associated with the word “opening” - opening a door, a heart, a mind.
Opening your eyes in order to truly see those around you, opening your mind to
new ideas, opening your heart, even to what seems threatening, frightening,
ominous, with the knowledge that we fear most what we are unfamiliar with.
Reaching out to those whom we are suspicious of, those whom we have formed
weakly- based opinions of, is the key to dissolving fear and making way for
growth and acceptance.”
Reaching out to each other and
acceptance are essential to community, and can lead us to intently listen to
one another’s stories and current concerns and hopes. A few weeks ago, I
offered you an opportunity to articulate the dominant theme in your lives. Let’s take a moment to listen to
these reflections that came from you:
·
Staying
healthy, physically, emotionally and spiritually
·
Staying
independent
·
Visiting
new places to see and learn about;
·
“Letting
go" and "getting unstuck"
·
Surviving
is good, but living is better.
·
The
birth of a first grandchild and a family reunion - it is interesting that the the older we get, the more we
turn to family.
·
A
death, an unexpected terminal illness, two pregnancies, a lay-off and new
chapters of experience opening with each event.
·
Focusing
on family life and Judaism.
·
Appreciation
· I want enough energy to
get through the day without several cans of caffeine.
·
Shedding
the accumulations of a lifetime – we swamp ourselves with
more than we need or can use, and should spread around what others can use.
·
Hoping for peace in the world, fewer senseless shootings here and
everywhere in the world.
·
Looking
forward to the coming 20 years ahead, feeling everything is great now, having a
nagging feeling that we're going to " get out" just in time, and
wondering if every generation feels like this towards the end of life.
We need to
make time to discuss these types of concerns with each other if we are truly a
community. Being a congregation
means that we are a network of relationships, not just a “religious institution”
that offers a variety of programs.
Rabbi Sidney Schwarz, in his book JEWISH MEGATRENDS, outlined an
approach that, he believes, will sustain Jewish communities into the
future. To succeed, Rabbi
Schwarz advises congregations to convey the wisdom of Judaism and other
spiritual paths; to advance social
justice so that Jews can fulfill the charge of the Hebrew prophets to ally with
"the orphan, widow and stranger in your midst”; to offer a place where
people can form rich and deep relationships; and to provide a glimpse of what
it looks like to live lives of sacred purpose.
In his book RELATIONAL JUDAISM, Dr. Ron Wolfson defined
what it means to live a life of sacred purpose within the Jewish concept of
building a KAHAL KADOSH, a holy community. We form a KAHAL KADOSH within a congregation when we continuously
celebrate and enhance the web of fellowship that we create together. Wolfson identified nine levels of
relationship that we can explore and develop in a congregation:
·
Between
you and yourself, developing your own individual, communal and spiritual
identity;
·
Between
you and your family
·
Between
you and your friends
·
Between
you and Jewish living and learning
·
Between
you and your community
·
Between
you and Jewish peoplehood, whatever your connection might be
·
Between
you and the State of Israel
·
Between
you and the whole world
·
Between
you and God, however you define God.
Over the course of a year, we touch
upon all of these levels of relationship in our planned discussions, in
meetings, in worship, in study sessions, and in spontaneous and worthwhile
conversations. In our
learning, in our living, in our praying, in our giving, this is who we are and
why we gather together. We have the opportunity to offer comfort, support, wisdom, connection,
warmth, welcoming, counsel, and hope within these walls and in the greater
community. Over the course of years, there can develop a sacred sense of family
between members, as long as we are willing to let it happen. We don't have to agree with each
other - God knows that family members certainly don't always see eye to eye. However, if we are committed to
being a sacred community, we can make the sum total of who we are special in
our own eyes and in the eyes, minds and hearts of those who would join us.
Standing by the
graves of my parents, Rhonda and I knew that our combined experiences in Jewish
life - and now we can add the experiences of our son Adam as well - were
enriched by the many years that my mom and dad volunteered their time and
energy for their congregation, enough to still be missed even now. And I have heard from you the
stories of those who were once part of this congregation who are missed, on
whose shoulders we all stand tonight as we enter the new year of 5774. This legacy can be one of
sharing and of deep concern about each other if we only choose to make it so.
So let us
take the opportunity during this new year to share our stories - our hopes, our
triumphs and our challenges - so that we can get to know each other well within
a community committed to making moments and our very lives holy and special,
creating meaningful relationships and lines of ever-strengthening connection.
One installment in the Jewels of
Elul series this year featured this simple but poignant statement about
welcoming from Harve Humler of The Ritz-Carlton Hotel Company: “At Ritz-Carlton, every one of the ladies and gentlemen who
work for us carry a wallet-sized credo card with them at all times. It states
our three steps of service:
1. Extend a warm welcome.
2. Anticipate and fulfill stated and
unstated needs.
3. Provide a fond farewell.
As you can
see from number one, welcoming is our top priority. But, in fact, all three
steps are about welcoming. Only if the totality of an experience is
authentically meaningful can a person truly feel welcome.
What is true
of a hotel is true of a home. How often are we all guilty of asking, ‘How are
you?’ without expecting or being interested in a real answer about the other
person’s successes or challenges, frustrations or fears. To truly welcome
another requires truly caring about another.”
This is the pinnacle of community: creating a place where we can truly know one another so
well that we will be present and ready to help in times of challenge and to be
prepared to celebrate in moments of joy. May this be a year of listening and of caring here at
Temple Beth-El, in our community, and throughout the human family.
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