Dear 5th-year HUC-JIR student Larry Karol of December, 1980:
I just read your “credo as a Religious professional” that you wrote for your Human Relations Practicum.
You really were quite a prophet, in many ways. I thought I would take some time to respond these 40 years and 5 months later.
You probably didn’t know, or maybe you did, that you would eventually quote Pirkei Avot 1:6 in the essay you wrote to accompany each resume that you developed in the decades to come. I have to tell you, that it was a great choice, and even now, in my retirement, I would still consider it axiomatic.
You were right. Every person does have something to teach. There were times when I was the teacher, and other moments when I needed to be the student and listener. Maybe I didn’t always get it right, but I believe, for the most part, I knew when to share my insights and when to drink up the wisdom of others.
The one senior rabbi under whom I served was a warm and caring guide and teacher, who gave me space to grow over the course of three years. I had space to be creative, to learn from mistakes, and to grow in ways that I probably never imagined. Even when I served small congregations over the course of 36 years, my rabbinic colleagues and other Jewish professionals (that includes your brother, and your wife-to-be, whom you have not met but who lives just 50 miles away from you - you’ll see) taught me how to lead meetings effectively, how to put problems and conflicts into proper perspective, and how to do my best to be a good partner in leadership.
I have studied Judaism all my life. It’s never stopped. Just you wait until the computers you saw in their infancy at the University of Illinois create a world-wide network of resources for continued learning and connection. Then, also, wait until those books that you have begun to accumulate multiply sevenfold, or maybe tenfold. I didn’t read all of them, but I did get through many of them, much to my benefit.
You should know that I have kept all of my Bar/Bat Mitzvah files and Confirmation files. Serving in small congregations for all these years allowed me to be tutor and teacher to every student one-on-one or in small groups. Every one of those simchahs was meaningful to me. I have to say that officiating at the Bar Mitzvah and Confirmation of our son, and blessing his wife as she became a rabbi (can you believe it? Another Rabbi in the family!) were special highlights, along with every student upon whom I pronounced the priestly blessing before the ark.
“Caring” is something that, already, you are doing with friends, classmates, and people whom you have served as a student rabbi. You set the foundation for me to be present for congregants who were facing health challenges and associated difficult choices. I can’t say that people came to my office often for formal counseling, but, in my view, I engaged in many conversations with people in the course of congregational life that addressed how to deal with personal dilemmas and life decisions. It was much more organic than I expected it to be, but, perhaps, it was best that way.
Your stated intentions to participate in interfaith programming were a harbinger of what was to come. I was, and still am, involved in interfaith groups and discussions, both formal and informal. It has been enriching. It was most significant when I was able to bring congregants into my inter-religious work, which did happen, especially to mark Thanksgiving and the annual Martin Luther King Birthday celebration. Sorry, I just revealed part of the future to you, but you may know that a Martin Luther King, Jr. holiday has already been proposed in the House of Representatives, so know that it will come to fruition. I have been fortunate to participate in many discussions with people of diverse faith groups that have been enlightening and fulfilling. My learning in this area has never stopped, and I had many excellent teachers along the way.
Remember your discussion with one of your Hillel friends at the University of Illinois about whether or not people who only took part in the dance group were really “doing something Jewish”? You said yes, and your friend still wondered why they couldn’t take part in more religious activities. Your perspective about the multifaceted nature of Jewish expression stood the test of time. And, yes, I have told that story, often. I became an avid reader of books in Sociology of Religion, and even taught the subject at a local university as an adjunct professor for several years. It was an excellent way of looking critically at my ongoing work in the Temple I was serving at the time. You should know, by the way, that I did develop specific programs that helped congregants define their activities in the greater community in Jewish terms. Why shouldn’t giving clothing or food to local agencies that help people in need be seen as a Jewish act? And why shouldn’t visiting a museum featuring an exhibit of Jewish interest be related to expressing one’s heritage? By the way, you should know that lighting Chanukah candles together (with many Chanukiot present) and hosting a community-welcoming food and cultural fair in the small congregations you will serve will truly be special and memorable.
Spirituality is something about which you already have a sense, especially through music. Perhaps you will try to tell people that you don’t want to be known as the “singing rabbi,” but that’s what you are. I tried to fight it, but my guitar accompanied me onto the bimah three weeks into my rabbinate, and that guitar (the Ibanez 12-string will be with you for a good long time) and others have joined me ever since. You will sing in Temple and at conventions, and you will find your own musical voice. I know I can’t tell you to nurture that creativity for original music until you are ready. In the meantime, you will find many contexts in which to sing and maintain musical partnerships that will help you and others grow in ways you might not be able to imagine. Don’t ever stop yourself from singing (and playing)!
There was a moment when I spoke to Mom and Dad about the trajectory of my rabbinic path. They wondered why I didn’t want to go to a larger congregation. I said to them, “I want to have time for my family, and for myself.” I was right. You will meet well-known singers, governors, senators, and community leaders even while serving small congregations. You will create long-lasting relationships. I can’t second-guess myself for the journey I have taken for myself and with my family. Just know that it all turned out well. Last year, I crossed from “work” to “retirement” standing up straight, with my head held high, and with family and friends present at that special moment. And, I still haven’t stopped singing, learning, teaching, and leading, even in these months of this new chapter of life.
I really envy you for what’s in store. Hold fast to that credo you just wrote. It will serve you well as an ideal, and make your rabbinic reality worthwhile and valuable. The road will have its bumps along the way, but have faith that you will relish this journey to come!
Love/L’shalom,
Larry
Your future self, 40-plus years down the path of life!
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