I have recently been thinking a lot about rituals and memory.
It might be due to the fact that my wife Rhonda and I just lit candles for the second night of Chanukah and exchanged gifts with each other. On the first night of Chanukah, a FaceTime call with our son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren extended our reach beyond the confines of southern New Mexico to bring our family together.
I might be thinking about rituals because I recently attended the biennial convention of the Union for Reform Judaism for the 17th time. At this conference, held in Chicago, I connected with people from all parts of my life, sang songs that I have known for many years, attended sessions that deepened my wisdom to enhance my service as a rabbi, and engaged in worship with 5000 people on the Friday evening during the convention. Those are the main reasons I attend.
On the first morning of the convention, we were given choices for special visits to sites in Chicago. As a dedicated baseball fan (the Kansas City Royals are my team), I chose the tour of Wrigley Field. While not religious in nature, there are rituals associated with sports fans who closely follow their favorite teams. One of those rituals is remembering landmark games and amazing accomplishments from the past. After our tour, I told our guide about the only time I was at this storied stadium. It was a game in 1976, when I witnessed the Phillies’ Mike Schmidt homer in the top of the 10th inning (his fourth homer of the game) to break at 15-15 tie on a very windy day. The Phillies beat the Cubs 18-16. The guide asked me, “ I have heard about that game! Was it the most historic game you ever attended?” I had to say that it was.
All types of rituals and community gatherings generate memories that can last a lifetime. Lighting Chanukah candles every year calls to mind both the present and the past. Rhonda and I can recall lighting candles over the years in our shared home and before we met. Two of our Chanukah menorahs that we light now come from our childhood homes. They evoke the times when the lessons we learned during our upbringing formed the foundations of who we are now.
At the convention in Chicago, several large panels displayed the names of every congregation (over 900) that is a member of the Union for Reform Judaism. Each congregation was represented with a leaf on a tree. I had my photo taken with leaf that read “Temple Beth-El, Las Cruces, NM.”
At one point, I happened to walk by as members of my home congregation in the midwest were assembling themselves for a photograph of all of them pointing to their Temple’s leaf. I volunteered to take the photo, and had the chance to meet the youngest member of their delegation, a college student named Ben. I know his mother, and his grandparents and my parents were active participants in the congregation together for many years. My conversation with Ben was a ritual unto itself: a sharing of connection and memory.
That is why we celebrate holidays and life events, why we commemorate the lives of loved ones who have died, and why we join together as community members for important occasions.
May all of our our rituals, and remembrances, fill us with light, hope and joy.
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