Some decisions in life are easy. The decisions I have made today I would
characterize as routine or even mundane:
what to wear, which coffee to make along with breakfast, and the order
in which I would do the usual tasks to prepare for my Sabbath service tonight
at Temple Beth-El.
Some decisions are difficult and
challenging, especially with regards to finances, health, caring for children
or other family members, and life.
The son born to Rhonda and me (Adam) in 1986
is now almost 30 years old. You who
have raised children know about the weight of responsibility that a parent
bears not only while a child is in the home, but also when he or she is out in
the world. Our son is married to a woman will be ordained as a rabbi in two
years. While that sense of
responsibility of which I spoke is now more mutual and shared, Rhonda and I
still feel that parental twinge on a regular basis.
The beginning of that parental twinge came
when it was confirmed that Rhonda was pregnant in the summer of 1985. We were filled with anticipation, hope, joy,
and uncertainty. With health challenges that
can possibly arise, we felt that nothing was for certain. What I discovered as a possible-father-to-be
was that pregnancy was a journey. In
our faith tradition, it is the mother’s life AND HEALTH that take precedence
throughout a pregnancy. And for those
who observe Judaism in a more traditional way, there is no celebration for a
child-to-be-born. The event known as a “baby-shower”
is held in the presence of the newborn child and all those who would come to
offer their good wishes.
But until that time, a woman makes decisions
every day with regards to her pregnancy, listening to the advice of her doctor
and her or his staff or other health counselors, the concern of family members
and friends, and the voice of her conscience.
It is, hopefully, her own faith tradition and sensibilities that guide
her, not someone else’s.
A woman who makes a decision to have an
abortion has felt a weight of responsibility as presented to her by her beliefs
and the judgment of health professionals she trusts. If her faith places her life and health as
primary during her pregnancy, then she should have the opportunity to make a
decision appropriate for HER, as challenging and complex as it might be. No one else, not a legislator, not someone
who is outside her home, and not someone of another faith, should presume to
make that decision for her. This is the
approach that honors her integrity, her dignity, and her personal freedom. It does not take away from anyone else’s
beliefs, ideologies, or opinions. It is
a woman’s decision. I, as a rabbi, would
be available to speak with a woman who came to me about the moral implications
of such a decision, and advise her based on the principles of Judaism which I and
many other rabbinic authorities espouse.
But in the middle of all the rhetoric and pronouncements we hear on this
issue, it really comes down to a woman, her pregnancy, and her own freedom to
make a difficult decision. May we
continue to advocate for and work for her freedom.
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